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#41
24th February 2010, 03:10 PM
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Just googled.
Lehmber Hussainpuri. OhhRightttt. 
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This is for Palestine, Ramallah, West Bank, Gaza, This is for the child that is searching for an answer, I wish I could take your tears and replace them with laughter, Long live Palestine, Long live Gaza. ♥____Lowkey
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#43
24th February 2010, 05:38 PM
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You thapper'd me?
¬_¬ p.s - I apologise Sexy_Kuri for ruining your thread. I hope things work out for you x
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This is for Palestine, Ramallah, West Bank, Gaza, This is for the child that is searching for an answer, I wish I could take your tears and replace them with laughter, Long live Palestine, Long live Gaza. ♥____Lowkey
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#44
24th February 2010, 07:26 PM
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i have read and re-read the advice on here.
much appreciated. main thing i gather,is that i should deal with one thing at a time. UNI. i study joint honours. final year. only dealt with one dept throughout my degree. they understand my circumstances..told me to submit work gradually. we'll call them dept A. i have been doing my work, most outstanding work completed. i applied for mitigation AFTER the deadlines, saying i have been working fulltime. i went to see them today as they called me in. now the other dept (dept B) who i have never really liased with are putting pressure on Dept A... ..Dept B have gone so far to say that 'sexy_kuri has breached university guidelines due to diligence and any work submitted now will be regarded as a fail' Dept A offered me a way out, they have told me to take a leave of absence and return another year. i cannot stress i CANNOT do another year. it will crush me. i really cannot. 3months left, i am finishiing off the work. Dept A have said if you can get Dept B to agree, its fine. I have made a appt with Dept B to put my point across: a) throughout my degree i never knew i had to liase with you...never needed to and never been assigned a tutor on this side of the degree b) my circumstances were originally temporary but have extended, however i am upto scratch with my work what else can i say that could work in my favour? i really gotta get this guy to reconsider and help me.ive never even met him. |
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#46
25th February 2010, 07:51 AM
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2. uni - if u think they're wrong with how they're treating u try taking it up with the uni heads i.e. deans, head of departments etc. see if they can arrange something for u. if not, dont worry about it. u know u can only do ur best the rest and the circumstance is out of ur hands anyway. 3. monies - again. dont just think abt how much uve saved - cos wat u earned over teh years has at least enabled u to have the things u have had so far. 4. friends - u never lose true and good friends. the simplest thing to do is reconnect with them. meet up, explain all the crap thats happened, apologise for not keepin in touch and ask them for some understanding. if all else fails, buy em a kebab. 5. insecurity - allow ur boyfriend. train and get in shape for urself and for the state of ur own health. it will help u feel better too. 6. being sad - u need to start lookin at the world around u and realise just wat things u have that u should be grateful for, especially wen u see many many people in far worse situation and bigger problems than urself. if u have this perspective then it can help restore some balance to ur mental state. |
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#47
25th February 2010, 11:22 AM
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Dept B seems like they want you out etc. But you need a more viable reason then the whole working full time stuff. I like Asian12'z idea- get a doctors note- trust me, go to your doctors, tell them you got pains etc, tell your university its NOT the work that has caused you to miss the deadline (as that is a weak excuse- they will say if your working full time then why come uni etc), say you have had emotional stuff going on AND you got a Doctors note who has said XYZ.. Then say you have fuly RECOVERED- support ths with another note by Doctor and show UI ppl. Tey CANT kick you out IF you show that firstly u had a legit reason for missing deadlines and SECOND you are able to ppull through. Also show your results etc, you say you do outstanding so show them that, prove it. Dont let it go without a fight at all. The doctor thing will definately make them think twice about saying anything, you can sue them etc, if they unfairly try and get you out. Let us know when the meeting is etc and what they say. Just dont tell them "oh ok " tell tehm u have LEGIT reasons etc which you can PROVE. you ca sue ppl if they do something unfairly and IF thy say no your kicked out- tell them your gong to speak to the head of university etc- show them you aint letting it go this easily. you got great marks- so your case will be much stronger |
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#48
7th March 2010, 10:26 PM
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s_xykuri, I understand what you are going through because I have experienced it and it is still on-going. When I was younger I used be so open, free, popular, had lots of friends, i always made people laugh, dressed okay, was brainy but i didnt get the boys though lol But that soon changed.... Life changes us. You gotta learn to deal with it. Try to sort your uni problems out. Forget about boys your education is more important. I am sure you will get your life back. Just take one step at a time.
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#50
11th March 2010, 06:03 PM
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You are spiralling into a world of self pity and its only going to get worse. think your fat? Go down the gym, the weight will come off and the workouts will give you a natural buzz, improve your mood. Dont have the time? Well find the time. Dont have friends? Not an issue, go and contact them again, facebook, email, the odd text. You dont need friends around you constantly to make you feel like someone. Learn to be happy in yourself. Dont depend on others. As for Uni, the state your in, best to drop it for now. Plenty of time to finish this later. |
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#51
11th March 2010, 07:52 PM
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uni Okay firstly don't quit uni, as u quit now u will never go back. Plus Easter holidays next month and then exams it seems like a shame to leave now, when exams are just around the corner. Make sure you stand your ground. Tell them about working full time being obligatory as your family are depending on you etc. Also take in work for dep B on that subject, so as to show that you have been working. Tell them you have been following lectures online (moodle) and make sure you prove to them you know the work. I mean so many students miss classes and yet do well, so your not alone. If you need to stay up till 5am writing notes on chapters do it! Then present it to them. The department knows exams are round the corner they need confidence that your fit enough to sit the exams. Tell them you will now quit work and revise for this. Most outstanding work complete so alhamduillah that's a good sign, that shows you can do it. Maybe u could get a doctors note and explain your situation to the doc and he can give u a medical certificate so u can take time of work and focus on your studies inshallah. uni and friends I had a friend in my undergrad days an Iraqi, she was married and had a son. I was never that close to her. Anyways final year I returned from Egypt and noticed she put on a lot of weight and missed most lectures. She had mitigating cirumstances but I was a lil  as then she started asking me for notes and make up class sessions etc. I was a lil confsed, but then she then told me she was living in a womans only shelter with her son, and was in the middle of divorcing her abusive husband and she was working to provide for her son. She was an emotional wreck but didn't want to quit uni, as her dignity dependend on getting that degree. All she had to do was be honest and open up. Me and a couple of other girls went out of way to help her, record lectures, give her handouts paraphrasing what happend. As she had mitigating circumstances she had extensions to coursework. She would come to my house and my mum would look after her son, then I'd more or less do her cw and often give her my assignments. I knew I may get done for plagarism but I did tweak it and the lecturers knew her situation so they were supportive too. Anyways alhamduillah she graduated and got a 2:1. I was more happy for her than for myself. I just wanted to help her and be there for her in every way I could. I mean I wanted her to live with me, but she said beause of divorce and housing issues she had to stay at the shelter... alhamduillah your case isn't as sever but the point is stick at it and kill 2 birds with one stone. Talk to your uni friends about your situation get them on side and they can help u with uni. Girls are kind and caring by nature, when you open up and be honest they will be there for you. True friends are there regardless. One of my best friends father passed away she ignored me for a year and then came back and we picked up right from where we left of. Again this was possible as she was honest. So be honest to your friends about why you lost touch and your current situation and inshallah fam and friends will be there. weight You won't find time for the gym right now as ur working and ur exams looming around the corner. All studnets put on weight during final year esp around cw and exam time, so chill. After uni it will be gone. Your looks shouldn't be an issues, however upon saying that try to eat smaller portions and be healthy and inshallah the weight will drop off. Try to go to the gym when u can and speak to a trainer who can write you out a program. Explain your situation and he or she will free of charge write a program for you, so u know what machines to use and how long to use them etc. Boyfriend Hold out on him, you have a lot on your plate right now, ask him to be supportive and discuss your current situation with him. If he helps and supports you then let him stick about, but if he just adds to your problems and intensifies it then its best to let him go. I mean it may intefer with your studies etc so maybe just speak to him now and then and deal with that after your finals. I mean ur uni degree is going to help u get jobs and your self perception of yourself. If he loves you genuinely he will be there for you and help make things better at such a sensitive point in your life, remember that. If not, remember someone out there will love you, just be patient. Write a plan for everything and solutions then act on them one by one, dont just fall into the cycle of self loathing as u will wake up old and miserable. Will make dua for you, good luck and let us know what happens. |
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#52
15th March 2010, 01:09 PM
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Ok, sexy kuri, im sorry to say this............ but "man" the fuck up! You have parents, a family, a bf, and many many years ahead of you and many other obstacles, for example, a mortgage, gas bills, electricity bills, water bills, council tax, insurance, full time employment, part-time employment, married life, kids, family problems................
and you're in depression because of what? cuz you gone a little chubby? your uni work aint done? boyfriend? money? look, this time that you're going through right now might very well end up being a distance state of mind, one that you'll regret in future, but sitting there and "claiming" you're in depression isnt gonna get shit done, theres people out there in depression for genuine problems in life but still walk ahead. you're still young and got a lot going for you, if i were you, id appreciate what you have right now before you begin to understand what you will have in future. this part may not apply to you, but seriously, these days its pissing me off that some people just sit there and ramble on about thier own shitty little insignificant problems like its the end of the world. most of whom dont even know what real problems are.  bloody kids!
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#53
16th March 2010, 12:01 AM
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I have been a teacher and had to give extensions for what you might deem as quoted by you, 'shitty little insignificant problems'. If it can cause someone emotional and mental instability, hell I don't care how 'stupid' the problem may seem the person has my sympathy and support. As someone who has had had it easy for the most part I know working full time and studying full time will cause me distress, however, I'm sure someone like my mum would find it easy. Point being we're all different and have different tolerance and endurance levels. Generally females are more emotional and instead of making people feel more down when they're low its better to offer solutions and support. As again it isn't a competition where you think, 'you haven't suffered as much as me, and I managed to get on with life, so you should too'. Kbye. |
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#54
18th March 2010, 04:37 PM
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Chilli, I couldnt care less on what ive done in life or yourself for that matter, so never compare myself to anyone or thier problems, but its getting "old" that some people find those general little problems and label it as "depression", thats a word thats thrown around far too often. I always try to give sound advice, but fact is I say what i want and how I want, im not into the whole "im gonna offer nice advice, show you sympathy and maybe, just maybe people will think im nice and sweet and cheerful and blah and blah and shit" If this girl, does indeed suffer from depression, then hopefully what ive wrote will help her see past her problems, which in turn will help her understand that this is a momentary road block in life, one of many. now chilli, darling, babe, suger, sweety, please................ by all means, scratch that itch and reply to this, you know you want to, your fingers are twitching and the brains firing up, it has to be done, come on, you can do it.........
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#55
18th March 2010, 04:45 PM
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just thought i'd post the criteria to be diagnosed for depression
According to DSM-IV, the diagnostic manual from American Psychiatric Association, criteria used by mental health professionals, you have Major Depressive Disorder if: You have had an episode of depression lasting at least two weeks with at least five of the following symptoms: (1) You are depressed, sad, blue, tearful. (2) You have lost interest or pleasure in things you previously liked to do. (3) Your appetite is much less or much greater than usual and you have lost or gained weight. (4) You have a lot of trouble sleeping or sleep too much. (5) You are so agitated, restless, or slowed down that others have begun to notice. (6) You are tired and have no energy. (7) You feel worthless or excessively guilty about things you have done or not done. (  You have trouble concentrating, thinking clearly, or making decisions. (9) You feel you would be better off dead or have thoughts about killing yourself. These symptoms are severe enough to upset your daily routine, or to seriously impair your work, or to interfere with your relationships. The depression does not have a specific cause like alcohol, drugs, medication side effect, or physical illness. Your depression is not just a normal reaction to the death of a loved one. It is important to recognize that most of us go through ups and downs in our life periodically, as a result of events such as death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illnesses in the family, etc. These are not signs of clinical depression as we get out of them in a short period of time and spring back to our normal activities. The clinical depression is characterized by persistent depression. At least 5 of the above conditions have to be satisfied to be classified as major depression. It is important for you to recognize the signs of the illness that requires treatment as opposed to occasional "blues." lol dont know why number 8 came as cool sign wtf  lol. |
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#56
18th March 2010, 08:56 PM
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Terrible post. It's not as simple as 'my finaicial, social life blah blah blah is fine, so I should be completely happy!'. It's a state of mind which can't be switched on or off...and I think the OP is aware of other people with problems, but it doesn't mean she should undermine her own state of mental well being because of knowing that though. Also don't be so patronising - regarding the bolded bit. And don't say I don't know what I'm talking about, because I really do... Last edited by Pepsi : 18th March 2010 at 08:58 PM. |
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#57
18th March 2010, 09:15 PM
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Dude, patronizing, it's kinda what I do, know what I mean, it's my "thing"! Anyways, I do believe it's a state of mind, I've known many people to suffer depression over things which make this pale in comparison, but hench the "man the fuck up", is to power through to a point where the state of mind is changed, rather then her being stuck at a certain point in life, now if she chooses to take this as a push and change her current outlook, then brilliant, if not then others have offered her plenty of very good advice that she can benefit from. I still stick to my point, I think far too many people have used the word "depression" very loosely these days, I hate to imagine how they'd cope further in life.
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#58
18th March 2010, 11:02 PM
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 I is 'e'hated as Slipknot would say  . |
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#59
18th March 2010, 11:20 PM
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I wonder if some of the posts have scared sexi kuri off
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"People don't always tell you what they are thinking... They just see to it that you don't advance in life."
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#61
18th March 2010, 11:32 PM
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Somebody got out of the wrong side of the bed today! Listen dude, nobody's begging for your sympathy here, but nobody's asking for such harsh words either. Man up, and recognise that different people have different thresholds and what may seem insignificant to you may be a real dilemma to others. If you want to vent your spleen get a boxing bag - don't take it out on members of AF. Quote:
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Build the Asian Forum orphange, build the future of the Ummah, insha-Allah:
http://www.justgiving.com/asianforum-orphanage PLEASE CLICK HERE TO STOP 'BURN QUR'AN DAY' |
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#62
18th March 2010, 11:38 PM
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#63
18th March 2010, 11:42 PM
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#64
19th March 2010, 12:00 AM
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__________________
Build the Asian Forum orphange, build the future of the Ummah, insha-Allah:
http://www.justgiving.com/asianforum-orphanage PLEASE CLICK HERE TO STOP 'BURN QUR'AN DAY' |
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